Simply Unpredictable
by Eurydice
Summary: A Sports Night / West Wing crossover with a letter, a fundraiser, and an interest for Casey.
1. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: Neither Sports Night nor the West Wing, nor any of their respective characters belong to me.If you like my story, I'm glad; if you don't, then oh well.A note to keep in mind: This "episode" and its followup take place at about the beginning of the 'dating plan.'There are a couple of discrepancies to keep in mind: 1) This creation has not even a mention of Sam Donovan, and for that I apologize, and 2) The placement of this episode would be around the same time as the actual episode where Dan goes to a fundraising breakfast with Hillary Clinton.This is an oversight on my part; I had forgotten about that particular plot point.In my happy little parallel universe, Jeb Bartlet is the President of the United States.So there.So with these two things in mind, on with the story._

[Scene: Hallway outside the studio]

[Donna, Kim, Jeremy, Dan, Casey]

[Donna is standing against one of the walls as people mill about in the busy state just before a show, and everyone seems to be ignoring her.She looks a little lost, and no wonder.Eventually, Kim walks by, heading for the anchor desk with Dan and Casey's scripts, but when she passes Donna she stops and looks at her.Donna does not notice her.]

Kim: Excuse me. [Donna jumps.]

Donna: Hi.Do you work here?

Kim: I sure do, do you?

Donna: No.

Kim: Are you from Accounting?

Donna: No.I'm from the White House.

Kim: No kidding.

Donna: My name is Donna Moss, I'm just waiting for someone. [She looks around anxiously.Jeremy walks by and stops.]

Jeremy: Donna!

Donna: Surprised to see me?

Jeremy: Frankly, yes.

Donna: They told me to come visit.

Jeremy: I was there.

Donna: So I came by.

Jeremy: And here you are.Dan and Casey are about to go on the air.

Donna: Can I watch?

Jeremy: Sure.

Kim: Want me to tell them you're here?

Donna: Please.[Kim leaves.]I won't be in the way, will I?

Jeremy: Not unless you stand in front of one of the cameras.

[Meanwhile, back at the desk, Kim places the scripts in front of Dan and Casey, who are getting ready to go on.]

Casey: Thanks, Kim.

Kim: There's a woman named Donna Moss here to see you, she's going to watch the show.[At the sound of Donna's name, Casey looks startled and Dan delighted.]

Dan: Donna's here?

Casey: She's here now?

Kim: [pointing to the cameras, where Jeremy is showing Donna where to stand] She's here right now. [leaves]

Dan: She came.

Casey: Yes.

Dan: She came to visit.

Casey: Yes.

Dan: You said she wasn't coming to visit, and look who's visiting us right now.[He waves to Donna.Donna smiles and waves back.Casey smiles somewhat hesitantly at her.]

Camera guy: In three, two…

Dan: [into camera, all charm] Good evening, from New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.Those stories plus, we'll go to Kelly Kirkpatrick in Baltimore for 12 innings of Orioles.Get comfortable.

Casey: We'll show you some Angels in the outfield that could have used some divine intervention and a Met who's met his match, that's coming up on Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.

[Scene: Jeremy's desk]

[Jeremy]

[It's late; the night's show was a good one but tiring.People are gathering their belongings and leaving, but Jeremy is sitting at his computer, writing a letter.]

Jeremy [VO]: Dear Louise, Sorry I haven't written in awhile, but things have been pretty busy here over the past few weeks. The show is going well, and Dan couldn't be happier; it's baseball season and just two weeks ago he and Casey got to go to Baltimore.Dan was thrilled, and decided I had to go with him.

[Scene fades into daytime, same place, where workers are happily bustling about the office.Dan walks from the office, reading a letter with a bemused expression on his face.]

Jeremy: [continuous VO] Dan loves Baltimore, especially their baseball team, the Orioles, and once he learned that I'd never been to Baltimore, he made up his mind.

[Casey hurries up to Dan from behind, holding a folded piece of paper, with which he taps Dan on the shoulder.Dan turns around, smiling.]

Dan: He watched the show.

Casey: Thinks we're talented.

Dan: We _are_ talented.

Casey: We're very talented.But we're not the only ones who think so.

Dan: The leader of the free world thinks so.

Casey: Think that signature is ink?

Dan: I'm sure it's some form of ink.

Casey: This day just keeps getting better and better.

Dan: It's in Baltimore.

Casey: Yes, it is.

Dan: I haven't been to Baltimore in a long time.I haven't been to Baltimore during baseball season in a long time.

Casey: It's a fundraiser for the Democratic party, Dan, not an Orioles game.

Dan: Nothing says we can't go to a baseball game while we're there.

[Jeremy approaches them.]

Jeremy: Casey, Natalie's looking for you.

[Dan thrusts his letter into Jeremy's hands.]

Jeremy: What's this?

Dan: Read it.

Jeremy: Have I just won ten million dollars?

Dan: I wouldn't know anything about that. 

[Jeremy peruses the letter.]  
Jeremy: Wow.

Dan: I know.

Jeremy: Wow.

Dan: The President.

Jeremy:You got a letter from the President.

Casey: An invitation from the President.

Jeremy: Yes.

Dan: Of the United States.

Jeremy: Indeed.

Casey: Not Bolivia, not Bulgaria or even Brazil, but the United States.

Jeremy: Why those three countries?

Casey: I don't know.

Dan: It's in Baltimore.

Jeremy: It is.

Dan: Baltimore.

Jeremy: Nice place?

[There is a pause as Dan stares at Jeremy for a few moments.This clearly makes Jeremy nervous and he looks to Casey for help; Casey just chuckles.]

Jeremy: What?

Dan: Have you ever been to Baltimore?

Jeremy: No.

Dan: [to Casey] He's coming with us.

Jeremy: Shouldn't you ask Dana first?

[Serendipitously, Dana walks by with a clipboard.She is leafing through it and not really paying attention to Dan as he yells:]

Dan: Dana! [follows her]

Dana: Yes, Dan.

Dan: Can Jeremy come to Baltimore with me and Casey?

Dana: Sure.

Dan: Thanks! [hurries off.Dana stops walking and looks after him.]

Dana: What?[She catches back up to him, paying attention now.]

Dan: You can't take it back now.

Dana: What's in Baltimore?

Dan: Many things; the National Aquarium, the Inner Harbor, Fort McHenry, Camden Yards…

Dana: Why are you going to Baltimore? [Dan hands her the letter, which she reads.]Wow. 

Dan: Yeah.

Dana: Why are they having this fundraiser in Baltimore?[Natalie approaches.]

Natalie: Fundraiser?

[Dana hands her the letter, which she reads.]

Natalie: Wow.

Dan: Baltimore, the Democratic party, and baseball season.

Natalie: Sounds like a fun time.

Dana: And why exactly do you want Jeremy to go with you?

Dan: [As if he can't believe this] He's never been to Baltimore.

Dana: Lots have people have never been to Baltimore.

Dan: Are you one of them?

Dana: Of course not.

Dan: So you see why I have to take him with us.

Dana: Why not?

Dan: [grasps Dana's hand] Thank you.I see now that you are truly his benefactor.

Dana: Don't you have something you need to be doing?

Dan: Probably.

Dana: Do it.

Dan: Sure. [leaves]

Natalie: Have you really been to Baltimore?

Dana: No, but that's not something you tell Dan.

Natalie:[looks about to say something and stops herself, then begins anew] I've got to go find Jeremy.[hurries away]

Jeremy [VO]: I'm sure I've told you of the friendship between Dana and Natalie.Well, Natalie went through a major crisis two weeks ago… well, to her it was major.The rest of us just found it fairly amusing.See, Dana's 34th birthday is tomorrow, and Natalie has been planning to throw her a surprise party.This means, however, that there's something she can't tell Dana, and it's really hard for her.

Natalie: [She finds Jeremy in the booth and pulls him aside.] I can't do this anymore.

Jeremy: It'll pass.

Natalie: In two weeks!I have to hang onto this for two whole weeks.

Jeremy: You're doing great.

Natalie: Really?

Jeremy: Well, you haven't told her, have you?

Natalie: No, but Jeremy, this is like… it's like a sore, it's festering and pretty soon I just have this premonition, this terrible premonition that it's going to burst and start oozing-

Jeremy: That's very vivid, thank you.

Natalie: Two weeks![she leaves]

[Scene: The Baltimore Convention Center]

[Jeremy, Dan, Casey, Josh, Donna]

[It is crowded.Very crowded.Lots of men and women in suits with nametags are talking and laughing and discussing.Dan and Casey are standing in the middle of the group, and truth to tell they look slightly nervous… but not so nervous as Jeremy, who keeps looking over his shoulder.]

Jeremy: I'm not even supposed to be here.

Dan: Just so long as you don't mention the Republicans you should be fine.

Jeremy: Are you sure?

Casey: Just be cool.

Jeremy: Thanks for the advice.

Jeremy [VO]: So there we were in Baltimore.It was a lot like New York, but the people tended to be nicer, in most cases.Remarkably, the traffic was just as bad.

We got to the Convention Center, which was very nice and extremely crowded, and basically, we mingled.That's really all we did, which is kind of unfortunate, because I don't do it all that well.And then, about an hour into it, we met Josh and Donna.

[Josh and Donna are standing across the room; Donna is sipping a glass of greenish punch and looks at it curiously.]

Donna: What do you suppose is in this?

Josh: What's it taste like?

[Donna sips again, and as she speaks Josh notices Casey through the crowd.]

Donna: Either limes or cherries, I can't tell the difference, isn't that weird-

[Josh grabs her and pulls her in front of him.]

Josh: Do you see who I see?

Donna: I see many, many people.

Josh: See the guy in the grey suit?

Donna: You just described every man in this room, Josh.Why are you holding me hostage?

Josh: He's talking to- wow, they're both here…

Donna: Who?The Captain and Tennille?

Josh: Dan Rydell and Casey McCall.

Donna: And they are…

Josh: You don't watch Sports Night?

Donna: Josh-

Josh: Stupid question.

Donna: [finally sees them] Which one's he?

Josh: Who?  
Donna: The tall one.

Josh: That's Casey.

[Donna smiles at Josh and heads into the crowd.After a moment, Josh follows her.]

Josh: Donna! 

[They reach Dan, Casey, and Jeremy.Casey is holding a cup of punch similar to Donna's.]

[Note: During this scene, Donna is very alert and watchful as well as putting on the charm; she pays particular attention to anything Casey says.]

Casey: What do you suppose is in this?

Dan: What's it taste like?

Donna: Either limes or cherries, but I can't tell the difference, isn't that weird?

Casey: Very weird.

Donna: [holding out her hand, which gets shaken by the three men in turn] I'm Donna Moss.

Josh: [doing the same] And I'm Josh Lyman.

Dan: Have I met you?Your name is familiar.

Jeremy: He's the Deputy Chief of Staff.

Josh: How did you know that?

Dan: Don't ask.

Donna: [to Dan] You look… very familiar to me. 

Dan: Do I?

Donna: Josh just told me you did Sports Night, but sorry to say I don't watch it, but I think I've seen you somewhere else…

Josh: I do watch you, however.

Dan: Thanks. [watches Donna puzzle]

Casey: So Josh, I'm going to ask you a question, and it's a question that's been in existence for quite a long time now, so consider your answer carefully… who's cooler?

Josh: Beg pardon? [looks between the two] I abstain.

Jeremy: Good call.

Casey: Oh, Josh, Donna, this is Jeremy, he's an associate producer of Sports Night.

Josh: Nice to meet you.

Jeremy: Likewise.

Donna: Got it!

[They all look at her.]

Donna: You were on Letterman one night.

Dan: [surprised] Yes, I was.

Donna: I thought James Woods was going to be on, but it was you, and I didn't know who you were, but Toad the Wet Sprocket was the musical guest, and I like their music.

Casey: Toad the Wet Sprocket's still around?  
Donna: Apparently so.

Dan: You look an awful lot like one of our wardrobe people.

Donna: Huh.

Jeremy: I'm sorry to ask this, but are these fund raisers always so… crowded?

Josh: Usually, yeah.Want to go somewhere else?

Casey: You mean leave?

Josh: It would be hard to go somewhere else if we didn't leave, yeah.

Donna: Wouldn't that be, you know, a bad idea?

Josh: Nah, we've done our part already, all we have to do for the rest of the time is mill around and answer questions, and frankly, there are plenty of people here who know more about my job than I do, so everyone will be covered in the answer department.Besides, Leo used to ditch these things all the time.Just as long as we're back here by two, we should be fine.

Jeremy: What should we do?

Casey: Dan?Any suggestions?

Dan: There's plenty to do here.We're in Baltimore, my friends.

[Scene: The balcony of one of the pavilions in the Inner Harbor]

[Casey, Dan, Jeremy, Josh, Donna]

[The night is warm and slightly breezy.The five stand on the balcony; Dan and Josh are leaning backward on the railing.Dan is holding a cup of Thrashers' french fries and looks pretty much blissful.There are some boats on the Harbor, the World Trade Center is lit up, and all is well.Dan has begun to notice Donna's obvious interest in Casey, and finds it rather amusing.]

Jeremy: So this is Baltimore.

Dan: That it is.

[He proffers the cup to Casey, who waves it away in distaste.]

Casey: They smell terrible, Danny.

Dan: It's just vinegar!As much as I love New York, I gotta say that people there are flawed if they don't put vinegar on their french fries.[Eats one with a smile.]

Casey: There's a reason they don't.

Dan: Which is?

Casey: It's vinegar!

Dan: They're flawed.You are flawed, my friend.

Casey: Can you ever forgive me?

Dan: Give me time.

[Josh and Donna have been watching this whole conversation with interest.Josh chuckles.]

Josh: Wow.

Dan: Wow?

Josh: I always wondered if the rapport between you two was real, and I see that it is.

Casey: We've been doing this a long time.

Donna: How long have you known each other?

Casey: [looks at Dan] Like I said, a long time.

Josh: See, you see nowadays so many on-air collaborators who couldn't banter their way out of a wet paper bag.

Donna: A wet paper bag?

Josh: It's a saying.

Donna: It's a dumb saying.

Josh: Doesn't matter.Still a saying.

Dan: I'm gonna get something to drink, anyone want anything?

Donna: I'm fine.

Jeremy: No, thank you.

Dan: Jeremy, Josh, something I want to ask you, c'mon.[Gestures for them to follow, and, bemused, they do.Casey and Donna watch them go, and Casey leans on the railing.]

Donna: Your friend is very strange.

Casey: I know.

Donna: Is he always this hyped up about Baltimore?

Casey: Well, he likes it here.

Donna: Obviously.

Casey: Obviously.

Donna: The man likes his vinegar.

Casey: That he does.

Donna: And I like you.

Casey: [after a slight pause] Oh?

Donna: I'm sorry, was that not appropriate?

Casey: Well, it wasn't expected.

Donna: I'm quite the unpredictable girl.

Casey: So I'm learning.

Donna: I think you're cute.

Casey: Once again, the unpredictability reasserting itself…

Donna: Sorry.Am I making you uncomfortable?

Casey: I can't tell.

Donna: I agree with you about the vinegar, by the way.[Casey smiles.]

[Josh, Dan, and Jeremy reenter.Dan has swapped his fries for a small cup of lemonade, and Josh is draining a similar one.Donna looks up almost guiltily and then relaxes.]

Josh: That was the strongest vinegar, you know, ever.

Dan: Gotta build up an immunity.

Josh: I think that's likely, don't you?

Jeremy: I don't know, it wasn't that bad.

Dan: I have a convert!

Jeremy: Let's not get carried away.

Josh: I think I'm going to be tasting that for three years.

Donna: Big baby.

Josh: You try drinking a quart of vinegar masquerading as an innocent french fry.You might wrinkle your nose a little.

Donna: You knew there was vinegar on them.

Josh: I didn't know there was that much.Hey, anyone got the time?

Casey: [checking his watch] 1:30.

Josh: [to Donna] We should be getting back, people are gonna start looking for us pretty soon.

Donna: Okay. 

Casey: Well, it was great meeting you both.

Josh: Hey, except for the vinegar incident, likewise.

Dan: You two should come visit us someday.

Josh: [chuckling] Maybe we'll do that.

Jeremy: And you can see if the White House is as hectic as Sports Night.

Josh: If you're ever in DC, look us up.[smiles, and he and Donna take their leave]

[A few moments pass in idle silence.Dan turns to Casey and smiles.]

Dan: So.

Casey: So.

Dan: What do you think?

Casey: About what?

Dan: Something's brewing.

Casey: Brewing?

Dan: Something's brewing.

Casey: [to Jeremy] You have any idea what he means?

Jeremy: Do I ever?

Casey: What's brewing, Dan?

Dan: Donna.

Casey: She's brewing?

Dan: I think she likes you.

Casey: Oh, I know she does.

Dan: [thrown] Pardon me?

Casey: She told me so. [shrugs]

Dan: [smiling] Hey.

Casey: What?

Dan: Hey.

Casey: Does it bother you that you keep repeating yourself?

Dan: Maybe she'll come visit.

Casey: She's not going to come visit.

Jeremy: She always might.There's always that possibility.

Casey: The woman works in the White House, she's probably fairly busy.

Dan: She'll make time.

Casey: Sure she will.

Dan: You like her?

Casey: I just met her.

Dan: She just met you, and yet she's made up her mind.

Casey: Well, that just shows how we differ.

[Pause.]

Dan: She's a good-looking woman.

Casey: She is.

Dan: Very good-looking.What do you think, Jeremy?

Jeremy: She's not my type.

Dan: I know, but for Casey.

Jeremy: Oh, sure.

[Scene: Jeremy's desk]

[Jeremy, Dan, Casey, Donna]

[Jeremy is still typing.]

Jeremy [VO]: And so now Donna's here, something that makes Casey acutely uncomfortable.It's not that he doesn't like her, because I'm certain he does.He's afraid that Dana isn't going to like her, and that would put him in a bit of a fix.I think he thinks he has to have Dana's approval of the girls he dates while they're doing this insane "dating plan"… which, by the way, I think is completely ridiculous.I don't think I'll ever understand Dana.I don't think anyone will ever understand Dana.

[Dan walks by, heading for his office, and notices Jeremy.]

Dan: Hey, Jeremy.

Jeremy: Hey.

Dan: [confidentially] I need an excuse.

Jeremy: Your dog ate it.

Dan: [thinks] It wouldn't fly.

Jeremy: It never does.

Dan: I need to find an excuse not to go out with Casey tonight.

Jeremy: You have a headache.

Dan: Jeremy-

Jeremy: Is this because Donna's here?

Dan: Yes.

Jeremy: And she's invited him to go out after the show, which he obviously wants to do, but he wants you to go with him as a safety net, am I right?

Dan: I gotta start calling you Kreskin.

Jeremy: Kreskin Goodwin.Wouldn't work.

Dan: So what do I say?

Jeremy: Why don't you tell him, you know, you don't want to go?

Dan: That could work.

Jeremy: Worth a shot.

[Dan gestures to the computer screen.]

Dan: Letter to your sister?

Jeremy: Yeah.

Dan: [waves to the screen] Hey, Louise.

[He walks into the office.]

Jeremy [VO]: Dan says hi.I'm getting tired, Lou, so I'm going to go home now.I'll write you some more after Dana's party.I have a feeling there'll be plenty to write about.Something's brewing.

[Fade to title, then to black]


	2. Default Chapter

_Disclaimer: See Disclaimer to "Simply Unpredictable, Part 1."_

** **

[Scene: Jeremy's desk]

[Dave, Jeremy]

[It's late at night again.Party remnants that made their way into the office area are strewn about, and music filters distantly in from the background.Jeremy is typing; he looks disheveled but in a good mood.]

[Dave enters from the side and sees Jeremy.]

Dave: All right, Jeremy?

Jeremy: Yeah, just finishing this up.

Dave: Okay. [leaves]

Jeremy [VO]: Well, it's the next night.Dana's party is still going on, but I think it's winding down.It should be, anyway, it's been going on for quite a long time now.And by the way, I was right: there's plenty to tell you about that party.

Louise, one thing you should know and probably have already guessed is that rumors run rampant in this place.

[Scene fades into Natalie maneuvering her way through the control room.She is barking orders at anyone who's around, but seems distracted.She is headed for Casey and Dan's office.]

Jeremy [continuous VO]: Rumors run rampant through most workplaces, I guess, but we've got something they don't: Natalie.

[Natalie bursts into the office, where Dan is writing.He looks up at her entrance- she looks somewhat wild-eyed.]

Dan: Morning.

Natalie: Is it true?

Dan: Is what true?

Natalie: About Casey?

Dan: What are you asking about Casey?

Natalie: He didn't go home last night.

Dan: He didn't go home last night?

Natalie: That's what I hear.

Dan: From who?

Natalie: Around.

Dan: You heard it around?

Natalie: Yeah.

Dan: From who?

Natalie: [sitting] It doesn't matter from who, Dan.Casey didn't go home last night.He was with Donna last night.The two things might be connected.

Dan: They might, or Casey might just have developed an aversion to his house.

[Casey appears in the doorway.Dan notices, Natalie does not.]

Natalie: I think this means something.

Dan: The fact that Casey didn't go home?

Natalie: What do you think it means?  
Dan: I think it means he didn't go home.

Natalie: Dan!Use your imagination!

Dan: I have a terrible imagination.

Casey: You have a fine imagination.

[Natalie turns to face him.]

Natalie: Did you go home last night?

Casey: No. [He looks somewhat tired, but good for a guy who's stayed up most of the night.]

Natalie: Why not?

Casey: I was talking to Donna.

[pause]

Natalie: You were talking to Donna?

Casey: I was.

Natalie: All night?

Casey: Well, somewhere in there I fell asleep for an hour.

Natalie: Casey-

Casey: Nothing more happened, just a whole lot of talk.And it was good talk.I learned a lot about the White House, she learned a lot about… useless things. [He sits and tries to dismiss the conversation.]

Natalie: Casey-

Casey: [to Dan; ignoring Natalie] Josh says hi, by the way.

Dan: Good. [writes]

[In the background, Dana walks by.Natalie runs to where Dan is sitting and lowers her voice, Donna temporarily forgotten.]

Natalie: I don't know if I can hold out til tonight.

Dan: You've done it for two weeks, Nat, you can go a few hours.

Natalie: But…

Casey: What did you get her?

Natalie: What did I get her?

Casey: For her birthday.

Natalie: Dammit.

Dan: Natalie?

Natalie: Dammit! [runs from the room]

Casey: [looking after her] She didn't-

Dan: She forgot to buy something.

Casey: [laughing] Wow.

Dan: Yeah.

Casey: So, what'd you get Dana for her birthday?

Dan: A package of hot dogs and a ball of green yarn.

Casey: Seriously?

Dan: No.

Casey: Okay.

Dan: I bought her a harmonica.

Casey: Now tell me what you really got her.

Dan: I just did.

Casey: You got her a harmonica?

Dan: Not just any harmonica.A Hohner super Chromonica in the key of E flat.

Casey: What does that mean?

Dan: I don't know, and neither will she, but I also got her an instruction manual.

Casey: Harmonicas have instruction manuals?

Dan: I figure she'll be playing the blues in no time.What'd you get her?

Casey: A hat.

Dan: A hat?

Casey: Yes.An Indiana Jones hat, she's always wanted one.

Dan: She has?

Casey: Yes.

Dan: I'd think she'd look goofy in one of those hats.

Casey: Everyone looks goofy in one of those hats except Harrison Ford.

Dan: But you got her one anyway.Because she's always wanted one.

Casey: Because she's always wanted one.

Dan: Nice, man.

[pause]

Casey: Donna's coming tonight.

Dan: [looks up] What?

Casey: To Dana's thing.Donna's coming.

Dan: Has Donna met Dana?

Casey: For maybe half a second.

Dan: Ah. [pause] So at this party, we're going to have Dana, Donna, and Dan.

Casey: Yes we are.

Dan: Sounds like a bad sitcom.

Casey: Dana, Donna, and Dan sounds like a bad sitcom?

Dan: Like a ripoff of Three's Company.

[Casey shakes his head as Donna appears in the doorway.She holds a small paper bag in her hand; it looks like she brought a lunch with her.]

Dan: Hey, Donna.

Donna: Hi, guys, um, listen, can I ask you a question?

Casey: Sure.

[Donna comes in and closes the door.]

Donna: Dana's that tall blonde woman, right?

Casey: Yes.

Donna: Okay, do you think she'll like this?

[She opens the bag after a quick check over her shoulder and pulls out a blue accessory-ish scarf.]

Donna: I just got it this morning.

Casey: I think she'll like that very much.

Donna: [looking relieved] Oh good, I mean, I don't even know her, so I don't want to show up at her party empty-handed.I'll feel bad.

Casey: [standing] I'm gonna get a sandwich, you want anything?

[Dan and Donna shake their heads, and Casey leaves.Dan continues writing.Donna sits down in front of his desk, looking around the office with interest.]

Donna: How're you doing?

Dan: Just fine, Donna, how are you?

Donna: I'm good. [pause]Can I use your phone?

Dan: Sure.

[Donna picks up the phone and dials.After a moment, she smiles.]

Donna: Hi, it's me, just calling to, you know, check in… In their office…

[Dan looks up.]

Donna: Yeah, Dan's sitting about ten feet away. [She covers the receiver with her hand and speaks to Dan.] Josh says hi.

[Dan waves with a smile.]

Donna: [into phone] Dan says hi… How's everything going?Has the White House shut down yet?No need to be a smart-aleck… Yes, day after tomorrow… Okay, I'll hurry… Well, tell Toby to be nice to you and see where that gets you… No, it probably won't work, but it's worth a try… I'm gonna go now, I'll talk to you soon… Bye.

[Hangs up.]

Donna: Thanks.

Dan: No problem.

[pause]

Donna: Do you think Casey's interested in me?

Dan: I can't say.

Donna: You don't know, or you can't say?

Dan: Either.

Donna: Well, either you know or you don't.

Dan: Why don't you ask Casey?

Donna: I talked to him for a long time last night, I probably should have asked him then, huh?

Dan: Would have been a good opportunity.

Donna: Must've slipped my mind.

Dan: I'd say the talking to you is a good sign.

Donna: You think so?

[Dan stands and goes in front of his desk, leaning on it.]

Dan: I can say that he at least likes you as a person.

Donna: That's good to know.

[Dan smiles.]

Donna: He's not seeing anyone right now, is he?He didn't mention anyone, so I'm assuming not.

[Dan looks uncomfortable but smiles through it.]

Dan: Not really, no.

Donna: Not really?

Dan: Right.

Donna: Okay.

[Casey reenters with half a sandwich in his hand.]

Casey: Did I miss anything?

Dan: We plotted a revolution, but other than that…

Donna: What's on your sandwich?

Casey: Roast beef and muenster.

Donna: Mustard?

Casey: Yep.

Donna: A roast beef and mustard sandwich, huh?

Casey: No, it's roast beef and muenster, as in muenster cheese, but there's mustard on it too.

Donna: So, why didn't you say mustard the first time?

Casey: I don't usually name the condiments.

Donna: They're part of the sandwich too.

Casey: [laughing] You sound like Dana.

[Dan smiles a bit and moves to the door.]

Dan: I'm gonna go see if Nat's having a nervous breakdown.

Casey: [still looking at Donna] Yeah.

[Dan leaves, bumping into Dana as he does so.Dana looks over her shoulder and is momentarily thrown by the sight of Casey and Donna talking.]

Dana: Who- who is that?

Dan: That's Donna.

Dana: Donna who?

Dan: You met her earlier, remember, the White House lady?

Dana: Right, her.She's still here?

Dan: No, she left, but her spirit remains with us.

Dana: Did you get my note about trimming your intro for the 40s?

Dan: No.

Dana: Trim your intro for the 40s.

Dan: Gotcha.

Dana: Dan, let me ask you something.

Dan: Shoot. 

[They stop walking- by this time they're in the control room by the door to the studio.Dana pulls Dan through the door into the editing room {tape library?}, which is empty.]

Dana: Am I insane?

[pause]

Dan: Do I get context, or is that it?

Dana: With the dating plan thing, am I crazy?

Dan: Um.

Dana: Because I get the distinct impression that everyone but me thinks this is a bad idea.

Dan: [floundering] It's… probably not something I would do, but that doesn't necessarily make it a bad idea.

Dana: I think it's a really good idea, I've got a really good feeling about this, Danny.

Dan: Good.

Dana: So why do I suddenly feel like it's a bad idea?

Dan: Would Donna have something to do with this?

Dana: [needlessly lowering her voice] There's a rumor going around that Casey never went home last night.He hasn't liked this plan at all and has made no effort to go through with it, and suddenly he's not coming home at night?

Dan: From what I hear, it was just talk.

Dana: So he did go home last night.

Dan: No, he didn't go home, but he was just talking to Donna, nothing else.But that might change…

Dana: [falsely] That's good, though.That's good.

Dan: [not buying it] Yeah.

Dana: I'm not jealous.

Dan: Good.

Dana: Thanks, Danny. [leaves]

Dan: Oh, boy.

[leaves]

[Scene: Dan and Casey's office]

[Casey, Donna, Dana]

[It's about two minutes after Dan and Dana left the room.Donna is still in the chair, Casey is sitting on Dan's desk.]

Donna: Josh thinks all the guys I date are losers.He's probably right.

Casey: Why does he think that?

Donna: I don't know.[jokingly] Maybe he's jealous.

Casey: Well, he's your friend, right?

Donna: Of course.

Casey: Friends tend to be overly critical of each others'… interests.

Donna: Still.

Casey: Still.

Donna: He should be supportive of me.

Casey: Yes.

Donna: [testing the waters] He doesn't think you're a loser, I know that much.

Casey: I'm glad to hear it.

[Donna quickly stands and kisses him.Dana, showing impeccable timing, walks through the door and stops.Donna quickly pulls away and Casey faces Dana.]

Casey: Hey.

Dana: [embarrassed] Sorry to interrupt.

Donna: It's okay… [sits down]

Casey: [smiling] What do you need?

Dana: I… I honestly can't remember.

Casey: Must've been something.

Dana: Must have, but I can't remember just now. [laughs uneasily] I'll remember in a few minutes.

Casey: Okay.

[Dana leaves and pauses outside the doorway.She's not happy with herself, or Casey.]

Dana: [under her breath] Oh, boy.

[Walks away.]

[Scene: Jeremy's desk, post-party]

Jeremy [VO]: This place is like a big high school.I heard all this from Natalie who heard it from Dan who heard it from Casey… and more than likely the whole studio knows about this by now.Casey decided he had to tell Donna about the dating plan, but I'll get to that in a minute.In the meantime, Dana's party got underway.Natalie decided to try something she'd seen on TV to get Dana there, so she needed someone from whom Dana wouldn't suspect anything.

[Scene cuts to Isaac walking down the hall to the control room.The show has just wrapped, maybe a minute before, and Dana is speaking with Dave.]

Isaac: [sternly] Dana. [Gestures for her to follow him.]

Dana: Hang on, Dave. [To Isaac.] Yeah?

Isaac: [gestures again] He'll be here when you get back.Follow me.

[They go to the conference room; Dana looks worried.]

Isaac: I really gotta hand it to you, Dana.

Dana: What's the matter?

Isaac: I just got a phone call from Luther Sachs.He wants to know about Jorge Esposito.

Dana: What about Jorge Esposito?

Isaac: He wants to know why we did a 3 minute feature on him.

Dana: He's a serious contender for Rookie of the Year, he came out of nowhere, has a .367 batting average and, oh yeah, that left leg of his?It's a prosthetic.

Isaac: Be that as it may, Luther is not happy.

Dana: And why is that, Isaac?

Isaac: Because apparently, Jorge Esposito hates white people.

Dana: That was a remark he made five years ago to his manager in Spain that was blown completely out of proportion.He said, and I quote, "Americans aren't ever going to accept a crippled Spanish kid who doesn't speak their language.I don't connect with Americans."Never has he said anything about hating white people; that's something the media has shamelessly perpetrated.

Isaac: Don't put something like that in there last minute, Dana, I don't want to be catching flak from the network anymore. [Begins to leave.]

Dana: [following him] Isaac-

Isaac: They're waiting for you in my office.

Dana: [stopping in her tracks] All of them?

Isaac: Yes, come on.

Dana: Isaac-

Isaac: Luther doesn't like to be kept waiting, Dana.

[Dana swallows and walks after him.She is distracted and doesn't notice that the hallways are oddly empty.They get outside Isaac's office.]

Dana: Oh, boy.

Isaac: [feeling a little bad] Dana-

Dana: Oh, _boy_, Isaac.[Opens the door, walks in.]

Everyone in the world: Surprise!

[Dana stops in the doorway and looks at Isaac, who shrugs, laughing.Dana looks back into the room, smiling hugely.]

Dana: You guys!

[Casey shoves Natalie forward.]

Casey: This has been killing her for two weeks.

[Dana hugs Natalie.]

Dana: You _guys_…!

[She is close to tears.Casey and Dan step forward, and each of them peck her on the cheek.Isaac does the same.]

Casey: Happy birthday, Dana.

[Dana smiles.Donna watches from the background.Natalie grabs Dana's shoulders and shoves her into a chair, and Casey picks up a small gift from the pile in the corner and tosses it into her hands.]

Casey: Don't say we never gave you anything.

[Dana laughs and opens it- it turns out to be the scarf from Donna.]

Dana: [turning it over] There was no card.Who is this from?

[No one says anything, but Donna raises her hand.Dana smiles at her, touched.]

Dana: Thank you…

Donna: You're welcome.[Gestures vaguely.]I thought it would look nice… with your hair…

Dana: [smiling] I bet it will.

[She drapes it over her shoulders, and while it may not go with what she's wearing, it _does_ go nicely with her hair.Casey, who is standing near Donna, jostles her with his elbow, and she smiles at him.Dan lobs a small present to Dana - it is wrapped in what looks like a sheet of computer paper.]

Isaac: Nice wrapping paper.

Dan: It's last night's script.

[Dana opens it and looks in polite confusion at the harmonica.]

Dana: It's a harmonica.

Dan: A Hohner super Chromonica-

Dana: Eb.

Dan: [pause] Hm?

Dana: It says "Eb."

Dan: That means "E flat."It's in the key of E flat.

[Dana plays a note on the harmonica.]

Dan: Just like George Harmonica Smith.

Casey: You just made that name up.

Dan: I did not!He's a famous blues harmonica player.

Casey: Anyone else here ever heard of Joe Harmonica Smyth?

Dan: George Harmonica Smith.

[Dave raises his hand.]

Dan: Thank you!

Natalie: [nearly bursting] So, Dana… were you surprised?

Dana: About the harmonica?Yes-

Natalie: About this. [Gestures around the room.]

Dana: Yes, Natalie, I was surprised.

Natalie: Oh good.

Dana: I can't believe you kept this from me.

Casey: Neither can we.

[Donna elbows him in the ribs.]

Donna: Be nice.

Jeremy [VO]: Dana was happy, obviously.You could tell just by looking at her.And Natalie was thrilled, of course.But there was something in Dana's eyes that wasn't right, Louise.I'm not saying I can read her like a book, but when it comes to Casey, you don't have to try very hard.

The party's lasted awhile, and at one point when everyone was otherwise occupied, we noticed that Casey and Donna were missing.

[Scene fades into Donna following Casey into the office.Casey closes the door and sits on the desk, Donna on the couch.]

Donna: What's up, Casey?  
Casey: There's something I didn't tell you.

Donna: I'm sure there are many things you didn't tell me.

Casey: Well-

Donna: Like whether or not you're interested in me.

Casey: Ah.That's complicated.

Donna: How?

Casey: Well, I am interested in you, Dana.

Donna: Donna.

Casey: Hm?

Donna: I'm Donna.You called me Dana.

Casey: That's… that's the complicated part.

Donna: Remembering my name?

Casey: The complicated thing is Dana.

Donna: Oh.

Casey: She's got this… plan… 

Donna: How do I figure into this plan?

Casey: [sighs deeply.He does _not_ want to do this.] Dana… and I… will eventually be seeing each other.It's just a matter of six months.

Donna: I don't understand.

Casey: Dana wants me to date other women for six months before I start dating her.

Donna: Has someone told her that this is a ridiculous idea?

Casey: Many, many people have told her this is a ridiculous idea.

Donna: And she's sticking to it.

Casey: She's sticking to it.And it really isn't…

Donna: Logical?Sane?Fair?

Casey: Any of those things.And the thing is, Donna, I like you.I do.

Donna: But you want this to work with Dana.

Casey: Yes.

Donna: So you're going to do as she says, even though you know it's a stupid idea.

Casey: Y-yes.

[pause]

Donna: The thing is, Casey… the thing is, I like you, I really do, but I don't want to start seeing you if in six months I'm going to be out in the cold again.

Casey: Yeah.

Donna: [she stands] I hope Dana comes around.

Casey: So do I. I'm gonna… [gestures to the door]

Donna: Yeah.

Casey: [pecks her on the cheek] You're something, Donna. [leaves]

[Donna looks down at the desk and traces her finger over it lazily, as if she's thinking.]

Donna: I'm something.

[She picks up the phone and dials.]

Donna: [into phone] Hey, it's me… Yeah, I'm coming home soon… [smiles] Before you know it.

[Scene: Jeremy's desk]

[And he's _still_ typing.]

Jeremy [VO]: I hope it's just a matter of time before Dana discovers that she's being ridiculous.But I doubt it.We all do.Because Dana is Dana, and that means, well, she's a stubborn lady.I think Casey regrets Donna, but I think it's something he should get used to as long as he keeps doing what Dana wants.

Anyway, that's my long, sordid tale for the evening.I'll write some more as soon as you get back to me, so my response depends solely on you, Louise.Take care of yourself.Love, Jeremy.

[As he hits the print command, Casey walks in from the general direction of Isaac's office.]

Casey: There you are.You been out here the whole time?  
Jeremy: Just finished a letter to Louise.

Casey: You okay?  
Jeremy: Fine.

Casey: Okay.

[pause]

Casey: I think Donna left.

Jeremy: Ah.

Casey: You'll be honest with me, right?  
Jeremy: I'll try.

Casey: Am I doing a wrong thing… you know, going along with the dating plan?

Jeremy: You don't have much of a choice, do you?

Casey: Not really.

Jeremy: A few more are probably going to react the way Donna did.

Casey: I wouldn't doubt it.

[Dana enters.She's a bit drunk, and looks very silly, as she's wearing Donna's scarf and the hat from Casey.She's also carrying a pinwheel.]

Dana: What are you doing out here?

Casey: Just having a talk.

Jeremy: That's a good style for you, Dana.

Dana: I think so, too![takes off the hat] I've always wanted one of these hats, and he remembered.[Pats Casey's shoulder and, almost as an afterthought, puts the hat on his head.Jeremy smothers a laugh.Dana pulls the harmonica out of her pocket and blows two loud, jarring notes on it.]

Casey: Beautiful.

Dana: Maybe I'll get lessons.

Jeremy: That might be a good idea.

[Dana rests her head on Casey's chest and closes her eyes, smiling.]

Dana: Happy birthday to _me_.

[Casey looks down at Dana, pained.He hesitantly puts an arm around her shoulders and starts to steer her back to the party.]

Casey: C'mon, didn't Dan promise to sing you "Oh, Dem Golden Slippers"?

Dana: Mm-hmm.

Casey: Let's get back to your thing.

Dana: [sleepily] Okay.

[Jeremy watches them go.He pulls his letter out of the printer and starts to fold it.]

[Fade to title, then to black.]


End file.
